Treasure Island Florida Causeway Bridge Scandal

Gulf Beach News

Bridge Scandal Uncovered!!!

(T I Beach Bums 2003)

Investigative reporters for T. I. Beach Bums have uncovered one of the greatest Government scandals since Willie said he didn't have sex with that woman.Taxpayers of Treasure Island have been led to believe that nearly 60 million dollars was going to be spent on a new 4 lane causeway bridge. Local officials have been showing artist renditions of a modern multi lane bridge when all along city hall was really planning to build a single lane bridge.

Treasure Island Causeway Bridge

T. I. Beach Bums reporters were able to obtain the actual artist rendition, shown above, of the bridge our elected officials are really planning to build. As you can see the planned bridge is actually a single lane wooden structure costing several hundred thousand dollars

So where is the other 59 million dollars going? Below are listed the projects under consideration by City Hall. Tear up Gulf Blvd. for no apparent reason, narrowing the road to one lane in each direction for the duration of tourist season. Erect more useless clock towers at the two remaining entrances to Treasure Island. Expand the program of having city workers block one lane of traffic on the causeway during morning rush hour while those same city workers stand in the median holding shovels. Continue the practice of blocking one lane of the draw bridge during morning rush hour while donuts are delivered to the bridge tender. Have the police initiate a program to encourage Canadian drivers to drive even slower. Begin accepting traveler's checks at the toll booth.The picture below could be our future. Imagine trying to go to work in the morning and facing a single lane bridge, hundreds of city workers with shovels, dozens of donuts being delivered to the bridge tender, and Canadian drivers with traveler's checks.

Please contact your City Commissioner and demand that the originally planned bridge be built and these projects stopped.