A Beach Bum's View by Gary Becker of Treasure Island Floria

Gulf Beach News

A Bums View

I have been very fortunate never to have suffered from anything more serious then the occasional cold and the more occasional hangover. Because of this I generally don’t pay attention to pill pushing ads put on by the pharmaceutical companies. But for some reason one evening I paid attention to an ad about my possible lack of ability to pay attention. For thirty seconds I was told by a concerned announcer that I may suffer from a malady call Adult Attention Deficit Disorder and will have to take pills made by the sponsor of the commercial in order combat the disorder that I only moments before had no idea I suffered from. How would I know for sure I suffered from Adult Attention Deficit Disorder and needed to see my doctor in order to get a prescription to buy the pills being pushed by the commercial I was now paying attention too ?"Go to our website and take a simple test."

Now my attention was focused on the fact that my attention had some sort of disorder. I was able to pay attention long enough to the commercial in order to memorize the web address. After forcing myself to pay attention long enough to do a few clicks of the computer mouse I was faced with a series of questions that if I could maintain my attention long enough to answer, would tell me if I was suffering from this disorder.

The first question dealt with my past. Did my report cards from school ever have the comment, "Not living up to potential"? Ever have that comment? My report cards were pre-printed with "not living up to potential" on them and all my teacher had to do was circle it with red ink.

The next question was, "Do you have trouble listening carefully to directions". I'm a male. I have trouble even asking for directions much less listening to directions. Especially when those directions are from some one who is looking at me like I couldn't find my way out of a bathroom.

The quiz continued with "Do you have to be moving in order to think." I have to keep moving in order to stay awake.

"Do you often have piles of stuff on desk or work area"? I refer to my pile of stuff as a "Personal Inventory Layered Environment."

"Do you often misplace items?" Are they kidding? I spend 5 minutes every morning trying to find my misplaced keys, wallet and reading glasses. Every time I go to Home Depot or the mall I misplace my car.

"Do you have a short attention span unless very interested in something?" If this means do I stay awake late at night watching my favorite football team and do I fall asleep in the afternoon watching Gilligan's Island reruns then the answer is yes.

"Do you skip around or go to the end first when reading". When reading email jokes I've received for the twentieth time I skip right to the delete button.

"Are you prone to hysterical outbursts? If they are talking about when I watch City Commission meetings on television and a certain two Commissioners or a certain public speaker begins to ramble on and on, then yes, I am prone to hysterical outbursts. Just ask my neighbors.

And finally, "Do you have difficulty coming awake, needing coffee or other stimulants before feeling fully awake?" Now let me see if I've got this right. If I stay up late at night not being able to pay attention to a football game on television and then I have to get up at 5 AM to go to the job that I have trouble doing because I can't pay attention and let my work pile up on my desk because I can't get to work because I can't find my car keys and I need several cups of coffee and a hot shower to wake up so I can pay attention long enough to realize all this is happening to me, then yes, I have Adult Attention Deficit Disorder.