A Beach Bum's View by Gary Becker Treasure Island Florida

Gulf Beach News

Roberts Rules

If you live on Treasure Island and have absolutely nothing to do on Tuesday nights, you probably watch the City Commission Meetings like I do. Recently one of the Commissioners has been talking about something called the Robert’s Rules of Order. This Commissioner apparently is one of the few living human beings who have actually read Robert’s Rules of Order which sets the ground rules for the way a meeting is to be held. Now that same Commissioner wants to run the Commission Meetings in strict compliance of these rules.

If you are like me, (seek psychiatric help immediately) you have no idea who or what the Robert's Rules of Order are or am or is or whatever. Well, I have entirely too much time on my hands so I looked Robbie’s Rules up on the internet.

It seems there was this guy named, believe it or not, Robert, who found himself in charge of a committee at his church. Robert it seems, had no idea how to run a meeting and found out no one else did either. Robert then began years of research and came up with 176 pages of nonsense on how to run a meeting. He then wrote a book and decided to name the whole affair after himself.

You can find the book in it’s entirety on the internet (be warned you can also find books about Robert's Rules of Romance, Poker, Driving and God only knows what else). I tried to read the book and found it a great way to start a long nap. If you can actually read all the way through this thing, then you are in serious need of a life.

Getting back to the book, I was actually able to read part way through the table of contents prior to sinking into unconsciousness. From what I could gather, Robert's Rules of Order are about who speaks, who votes on motions and so on during a meeting. Not exactly what Hollywood is looking for.

I don’t wish this kind of reading on anybody so I’ve taken it upon myself to create a simpler set of rules by which our local meetings can be run.

First, anyone who wishes to speak to the Commission needs to be sober and wearing clothing that has seen the inside of a washing machine within the last couple of months. Whether you agree with what someone says or not, we don’t need to have people crawling out of a local gin mill to mutter alcohol induced nonsense on public TV while looking like they have been sleeping under someone’s house.

Rule 2 is public speakers must realize that the microphone does not have to be swallowed and placed directly on the larynx in order to be heard. Speakers are to stand at least a foot away from the microphone.

Rule 3 is directed at the Commissioners. If a Commissioner is voting to approve a motion he or she is to say aye not yes. One of our current Commissioners wants to be different and says yes instead of aye like everyone else. Trust me Commissioner; you don’t have to advertise you are different.

Rule 4, have a meeting in which the Commission actually accomplishes something. Past Commissions have purchased and built new parks, beautified downtown and got the funding for the bridges. The current Commission has chased a City Manager out and spent $18,000 to hire a new one. They’ve done nothing else. Not bad for six months.

Unfortunately our Commission will spend the next 6 months debating Robert’s Rules and how they affect their meetings rather than doing something to improve our City.

I hope our Commissioners remember that come next March the voters will meet and put in place their own rules of order