Treasure Island Florida

Gulf Beach News

I Can See For Miles?

The City of Treasure Island has been declared an environmental disaster area by the Environmental Protection Agency after recent air quality tests revealed high levels of sulfur. EPA spokesperson Ogg Ogolbee, has told T I Beach Bums that researchers believe the high levels of sulfur found in Treasure Island’s air are similar to that of other areas where the use of red dyed diesel fuel was wide spread.

The agency was first alerted to a potential problem by residents who were concerned over the bright yellow exhaust fumes being emitted by diesel burning vehicles on the streets of Treasure Island. At first residents thought the yellow fumes were an attempt to improve the appearance of diesel smoke which is usually observed in black plumes pouring out of diesel vehicles exhaust pipes. Residents then began to notice a fine yellow dust beginning to accumulate on their pets and children when they spent time outdoors. One resident became especially alarmed when his black Labrador changed to yellow Labrador during a morning walk.

In another T I Beach Bums exclusive, T I Beach Bums was able to obtain classified photographs of Treasure Island taken by Air Quality Investigators who have been secretly monitoring the use of red dyed diesel fuel throughout the Gulf Coast. The first photograph was taken just after the initial reports of the possible use of the high sulfur fuel in the Treasure Island area. The photograph shows relatively clear air hanging over the Island.

The second photograph was taken just days ago and dramatically shows the increase in sulfur content now in Treasure Island’s air. Instead of clear air the community has always enjoyed, the City is now engulfed in a yellow haze.

Researchers and investigators alike are so alarmed by the rising sulfur content of Treasure Island’s air that there is a possibility that the City of Treasure Island will be ordered to issue every resident and visitor to the Island an approved gas mask. These gas masks will be made available on a “most need” basis with those suffering from breathing conditions receiving the first of the gas masks as the masks arrive.

A plan to clean Treasure Island’s air is under development. According to researchers, a combination of the immediate ban on the use of red dyed diesel fuel in Treasure Island and the influx of large amounts of hot air into Treasure Island’s atmosphere. The hot air will dispense the sulfur molecules now hanging in the City’s air.

The ban of the use of the suspected fuel would be simple to institute. The introduction of large amounts of hot air however would be more of a challenge and would necessitate the re-establishment of weekly City Commission Meetings.