Treasure Island Florida Beach

Gulf Beach News

MIRACLE PRODUCT CREATED
ON
TREASURE ISLAND

A Treasure Island resident has invented a beach related product that is predicted to take the "fun in the sun" world by storm. The product is called "Splatter Guard" and was developed by Prof. Hackenbush of Treasure Island after Prof. Hackenbush was involved in an embarrassing incident in a beachside men's restroom.

In an exclusive interview with T. I. Beach Bums, Prof. Hackenbush stated,"About a year ago I was visiting the beach and had to use a public restroom to relieve myself. As I entered the men's room, wearing only a bathing suit, I noticed that there were 3 urinals lined against the wall. I took a position at the middle of the 3 urinals and began to relieve myself."

"At the same time two large gentlemen walked up to the unused urinals and began to relieve themselves. As I stood between the two gentlemen, all of us relieving ourselves, I began to feel drops of moisture landing on the tops of my bare feet. To my horror I realized that the droplets were not rain but splatters of moisture originating from the urinals on either side of me. Yes, in an indirect way, the two gentlemen sharing wall mounted urinals with me were in effect, urinating on the tops of my feet. Though they both had aimed their manhood directly into the urinal the uncontrollable splatter was flying everywhere."

"I was then concerned that this splattering of urine may be a wide spread phenomena. I began a research project and made many scientific observations by using beach side public restrooms. Every time a urinal next to the one I was standing at was used, my bare feet would be subject to splatter from the adjoining urinal."

"Not wanting to start wearing shoes to the beach, I went before the City Commission and asked that splatter proof partitions be placed between urinals in the beach side public restrooms. This request fell on deaf ears.

"I then began developing a way of self splatter protection (SSP).

The first SSP were disposable booties that could be carried in ones pocket, placed on ones feet before using a urinal and then could be thrown away upon completion of relief. Unfortunately I found no market for such a product. Men did not seem comfortable wearing plastic booties while in a public restroom.

"I then began developing a SSP lotion that could be applied to the feet and offer day long protection. After months in the laboratory I was able to develop the SSP product which I call "Splatter Guard".

To use "Splatter Guard" simply apply the lotion to the top of each foot prior to using a public urinal. After proper application the user can confidently use a crowded public restroom, assured that urinal splatter will bead up, flow off the foot and harmlessly onto the floor."

We at T. I. Beach Bums are eager to try "Splatter Guard" which we have been told will be available at most major drug stores within the next few weeks