Treasure Island Florida City Hall

Gulf Beach News

Will They Never End

The human right watch dog group, Amnesty International has proclaimed the broadcasts of the Treasure Island Commission meetings and workshops “unduly torturous to watch and the continued replaying of the recorded meetings and workshops to be a clear violation of human rights.” Treasure Island Resident

Citing the Commission’s new policy of having both a Commission workshop and formal Commission meeting on the same night instead of the traditional one meeting per night format used by former Commissions, Amnesty International has accused the City of Treasure Island of forcing the governed people of Treasure Island to undergo “a cruel and unusual form of punishment” by broadcasting the marathon meetings live twice a month and continuing to torture the people by broadcasting a tape of the meetings over and over again.

Amnesty International spokesperson Hugo H. Hackenbush told T I Beach Bums, “Because such a large number of Treasure Island residents watch these seemingly unending meetings, we have determined that the Treasure Island City Commission is undermining the most basic internationally accepted level of human rights.”

Treasure Island City Commission Amnesty International was first alerted to the “Treasure Island Problem” last month when local medical emergency rooms began reporting an unusually large number of patients with self inflicted injuries on Tuesday nights. One patient reportedly had beaten himself nearly unconscious with his television remote control after enduring a nearly 3 hour long Commission meeting/workshop. This patient had fallen into “sheer hopelessness” after viewing three hours of absolutely nothing being done to improve the community.

“It is apparent to Amnesty International” stated Hackenbush , “that the combination of the make up of the Commission along with marathon meetings and the seemingly incessant re-broadcasts of those meetings is a grave abuse of human rights and well beyond the limits of punishment accepted by civilized nations.”

Amnesty International is demanding that the Commission either return to the traditional format of one meeting a night, or even better, stop meeting altogether.