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The Kraus Can
Treasure Island is beginning it's automated refuse collection system program on Paradise Island within the next few weeks. 
What is an automated refuse collection system? Well, the city gives you a big garbage can that you roll out to the curb and a big truck with a mechanical arm drives by, picks up the can, empties the can into the truck, then places the can back on the curb. During all this the refuse guy sits inside his air conditioned truck working on a Big Gulp.
If you live on Paradise Island you will be receiving your can (already being called a "Kraus Can" by Paradise residents because the cans, like the Commissioner will be filled with ....) and an instruction pamphlet. Because many Paradise Island residents may misplace their instruction pamphlets (after all they re-elected Kraus) T I Beach Bums will re-print the highlights.
1. Your are not allowed to have fun with your garbage can. Your garbage can is not a Segway and you are not allowed to ride in it. You are required to push your garbage can to the curb and your are required to smile as you push the can.
2. You must open the lid of the can prior to placing any refuge in the container. You are allowed to place only small items in the container. No large items such as old refrigerators, stoves or deceased neighbors or relatives are allowed to be placed in the container.
3. When you place your container on the curb, you must face the front of the cart towards the street. You must not place your container near small children or pets as the driver may mistake them for the container and place the child or small pet into the refuse vehicle. Any resident who fails to correctly place his or her container in the proper location or proper direction will be severely punished.
4.Each container has been stamped with a serial number which is assigned to your address. Your are responsible for your garbage can. You will be severely punished if your can becomes lost, stolen or damaged. The City recommends you store your garbage can in a secure, well lighted area protected from thieves, vandals and the elements.
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