Treasure Island Florida

Gulf Beach News

Save That Deck Chair

I recently read a post on a travel forum concerning a major problem facing visitors to Treasure Island. No I’m not referring to our Commission of nitwits, or the dangers of crossing Gulf Blvd. on foot, nor the lack of affordable motel rooms. I am referring to the practice of motel guests "reserving" poolside lounge chairs for hour after endless hour by placing towels or other articles on these chairs while they wander off doing God knows what.

According to the author of the complaint, she was staying in a poolside room at one of our local Inns and when she went to the pool the first morning of her stay she was met with the fact that all the poolside lounge chairs had towels and other items stacked on them signifying that other guests where "reserving" those chairs for their own use. Apparently it was several hours before the "reservers" claimed their chairs which had made the chairs unusable while our complaintant wandered aimlessly around the pool looking for somewhere to plant herself. Annoyed by the fact that someone would render a lounge chair useless for hour after hour just to insure that if and when they wanted to use a lounge chair there would be one waiting for them, our intrepid traveler asked if there was proper lounge chair etiquette.

She received several responses which included dumping the other person’s articles on the ground and simply taking possession of the chair. Complaining to management which we all know is as useless as complaining to a Commissioner. Throwing the articles into the pool or turning the articles into lost and found and when the article’s owner arrives you play dumb.

As a community we could turn this problem over to our Commission in an attempt to secure a fair and uniform solution. The key word here is attempt. Can you imagine our Commission having to deal with such complex issues as to the correct size and color of “reservation towels”? Or, how long can a towel reserve a lounge chair which would also have to include during what time of day can you reserve a lounge chair. For instance, if a towel is placed on a lounge chair at midnight does that towel reserve the lounge chair for the next day or has the “reservation” already run out. What about “articles”? What are “articles”? Sun tan lotion bottles, hats, bottles of cheap rum, one of our local homeless? As you can see there is no way our Commission could find a solution to this problem.

Now granted, I’m not a lounge chair person. I have no idea why someone would lay around a pool destroying skin cells when there is usually a perfectly good bar to belly up to just a short distance away. However, I can understand the annoyance one feels when one arrives at pool side only to discover that all the lounge chairs are covered with all manner of items owned by that large family who arrived the day before in the van with “Dumbbutt Ohio, Grain and Feed” scrolled on its side.

So, here’s what you do. Remember that bar I’m bellied up too. Well, when they finally close that bar at the end of night and throw your butt out, do not go back to your room. Find one of those lounge chairs that Dumbbutt Ohio will try to claim when she wakes up before dawn to feed the chickens, and pass out in the thing right then and there. Now, when Dumbbutt arrives she’ll find your drunken behind firmly planted in and “reserving” that lounge chair.

Of course the next morning your head is going to feel like an atomic bomb went off between your ears, your eyes will look like page 32 in the Rand McNally Road Atlas and you’re going to have a desire to drink several gallons of ice cold water. But, you will have a lounge chair.