A Beach Bum's View by Gary Becker

Gulf Beach News

Reprinted from the December issue of the Reporter Newspaper

For many, the holiday season is the most wonderful time of the year (unless you happen to be a 6 ft Douglas Fur headed for some high school band’s boosters club Christmas tree lot). A time to get together with family and friends to share tales of holiday’s past. A time to get together with family and friends to share hopes for future holidays. A time to be thankful for the wonderful life we all enjoy living on these beautiful sandbars we call home.

For most, the spectacular sunsets, wonderful weather and beautiful wide sandy beaches would be plenty to be thankful for. I, on the other hand, have many more reasons to be thankful I live here.

I’m thankful that Bob has so many barricades that he probably won’t miss the two I ran over last night.

I’m thankful that no one in my family owns one of those foam noodles.

I’m thankful when the car in front of me at the toll booth has an operating driver’s side window so I don’t have to watch someone try to crawl out of partially opened car door to throw 50 cents into the coin catcher.

I’m thankful when the driver of the car in front of me at the toll booth actually gets the change into the coin catcher and doesn’t have to do a cavity search of all their passengers to come up with another 50 cents.

I’m thankful the Drum Circle doesn’t meet in my back yard.

I’m thankful my mother taught me never to wear socks (especially dark socks) when wearing sandals.

I’m thankful that public comments at City Commission Meetings are limited to 5 mind numbing minutes.

I’m thankful tourists dress that way so I can tell them from the locals.

I’m thankful there is a marked crosswalk in front of Sloppy Joe’s so the Police know where to start from when they begin looking for my body after I get run over trying to cross Gulf Blvd.

I’m thankful Blind Pass Road is done and has four lanes so I no longer will have someone trying to put their front bumper in my back seat because I happen to be driving the speed limit.

I’m thankful every time I drive and I’m not behind a car with Ontario tags.

I’m thankful when I drive around the clock tower and I’m not next to the trolley.

I’m thankful no one in my family owns an inflatable Shamu.

I’m thankful I don’t have to cross Johns Pass Bridge very often and have to spend hours of my life watching happy people leave on the gambling ships and the broke and seasick return.

I’m thankful my car radio refuses to play rap music.

And finally, I’m thankful I live in paradise with such wonderful friends and neighbors.